


It feels like drowning

by purplewave_txt



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Coming Out, Drinking, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Drugged Sex, Drugs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Excessive Drinking, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Zalex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:20:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25093753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplewave_txt/pseuds/purplewave_txt
Summary: "Zach ... If you keep drinking like that, they going to kick you out of college and you'll end up on the street ... Don't end up like me."This ff will be set after season 4. Zach is having a really bad time. His alcoholism gets worse because of his depression. He slowly destroy himself.Can Alex save him this time?
Relationships: Jessica Davis & Zach Dempsey, Jessica Davis/Alex Standall, Zach Dempsey & Alex Standall, Zach Dempsey/Alex Standall, Zach Dempsey/Justin Foley, Zach Dempsey/Justin Foley/Alex Standall
Comments: 6
Kudos: 19





	It feels like drowning

**Author's Note:**

> First of all.  
> A big thank you to @hoho_TheFool <3  
> She translated my story into the English language. This ff wouldn't be possible without her!

_Repressed feelings run like drops of water into a bathtub. At some point it overflows and you are at risk of drowning in it._

Not much was missing until Zach got to this point. The burden on his heart became more and more overwhelming- as if someone was trying to suffocate him slowly. He thought everything would get better as soon as he started college. Far away from the scream of his past at high school. 

However, reality quickly catched up with him. 

The nightmares. The fear. The bad conscience. The thought of never being good enough for anyone in this world- especially not for Alex. Who, along with his sister, was and will always be the most important person in his life. Just because of him Zach tried to stop drinking. He would never forget the disappointed look on Alex face, on the night of the prom. The time he drank to much and about to make the next big mistake in his life. 

He didn't drank one drop of alcohol one whole month. Did he feel better? No. Every feeling, every emotion - he felt everything. Again. More painful, loud and unbearable than ever.According to Zach, Alex now had a partner at his side with whom he feel safe with. His new anchor on life. Charlie was now his protector. And it was for the good of everybody. So why should he even bother to resist the alcohol? He could destroy himself now- unbother and slowly.

It came as it should be - at one cold winder night , Zach found himself sitting at the piano at his music college. A half emptied vodka bottle. On top of the shiny black armature of the instrument. The only source of light was the flashlight of his cell phone. With two finger, gliding across the keys, he played two, three deep moll keys. They filled the lonely room with a depressing atmosphere. Then, he took another strong swing from the bottle.

A desperate laughter was escaping him, followed by a sigh. 

He thought about how poor it was that his musical performance was getting better while he was felt worse every hour. Maybe it was because of the fact that music was the only thing in his life with which he could express his deepest feelings. It felt liberating - but it never lasted long.His eyes wandered from the piano keys back to the vodka bottle.

_"fuck it."_

Giving up on himself and with clouded senses ahead he was about to drink the high-proof alcohol in one go.With the transparent head of the bottle already on his lips, a very familiar and concerned voice sounded from the darkness.

_"Zach ... If you keep drinking like that, they going to kick you out of college and you'll end up on the street ... Don't end up like me."_

The brown-haired teen recognized the voice. The voice he shouldn't hear. His eyes slowly moved to his left side. With blurry vision, he saw Justin sitting next to him.Scared and no longer able to hold his balance, he hurled the vodka bottle against the wall and fell backwards from his seat. For a few seconds, the only thing he could see was blackness. 

A pleasant feeling.

When the drunk boy regained consciousness, he hectic ally sat up. Grabbed his cell phone and let the light flashlight shone across the room. No one was in the room with him. 

_"Shit .. Now I too see my dead friend ..."_

He started laughing. Drunk and desperate. The tears were well hidden in the corners of his eyes in the darkness. Somehow he managed to get up and with a dull feeling, staggered to his room.He practically stumbled to his bed and fell into a deep sleep, quickened by his intoxication.

_// the chirping of the birds ushers in a wonderful morning. Sunbeams are fall into Zach's sleepy face. Just when he wants to turn around again he feels a small, gentle hand that runs through his hair. The brown-haired feels more carefree than in ages._

_"I hope you don't want to sleep the whole day?" Alex whispers with a grin followed by a roll of eyes._

_Zach opens his eyes and looks straight into Alex face. Alex looks beautiful. His hair disheveled. His cheeks slightly pink. And he wears nothing but Zach's college jacket. It of course, was to big for the smaller boy, it loos like he is drowning in it._

_"Honestly, wouldn't be such a bad idea. But only if I oversleep the day with you." Zach and Alex time is to important._

_Followed by these words he put his string arms around Alex waist and pulls him into the bed. To be specific, in top of himself. Both laugh and lean their foreheads together. Zach now has the best view at the ocean blue eyes of his boyfriend. They are sparkling like the most cleanest, untouched deep hidden ocean in the world. Right before they can seal their lips together lovingly, a shrill loud **"beep"** noise erupts. _

***beep***

***beep***

***beep***

The ringing of Zach's cell phone broke him out of his dream-- ugly and roughly. 

His head was filled with literal storm clouds and the oppressive feeling in his heart was back. He opened his burning heavy eyes and found himself back in reality. And the thing that was even worse for Zach: He lifted the bed sheet up a little bit and as he looked down at himself saw that the dream had triggered something physical in him .....

**Author's Note:**

> It's my first ff after 4 years. Please be gentle with me. * nervously sweating *


End file.
